george carlin quotes government

It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker [CDATA[ Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. We think in language. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Vicious Quotes Page 5. . if (isRetina) { The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, 43. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. George Carlin 383 talking about this. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. I love individuals. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Its interested in its own power. They own everything. They should be more vivid. You don't. You have no choice. googletag.enableServices(); Continue with Recommended Cookies. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. 14 George Carlin Quotes on Education, Kids & Parents - Fatherly Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Just daydreaming. Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. 100 George Carlin Funny Quotes On Religion, Stupid People 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics - Internet Pillar And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. ' George Carlin, 30. "Laugh often, long and loud. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? Welcome | QuoteSaga var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin - George Carlin quotes. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. "I have certain rules I live by. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. (function () { Creative Commons. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes - George Carlin profile quotes. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. You know why? Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Seems like a big waste of time to me! Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. Authors. I have certain rules I live by. Its interested in its own power. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. George Carlin. They own all the important land. He's the subject of a new documentary. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads } else { Aw, hes a comedian. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? 3. Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? gads.type = "text/javascript"; Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; Manage Settings If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. return false; gads.src = (useSSL ? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Like the boogie man. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. var url; It is one that we need to function as a society. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { Weve added years to life, not life to years. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # They should be more vivid. window.Mobvious = {}; The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. , I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. It seems only right. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Theres no present. } catch (err) { Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. The people are f***ed. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. //]]> You have owners. "https://":"http://";i+=f?g:k;i+=j;i+=h;c(i)}if(!e.ue_inline){if(a.loadUEFull){a.loadUEFull()}else{b()}}a.uels=c;e.ue=a})(window,document); !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Nobody owns anything. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Period. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. What exactly is viewer discretion? You have owners. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. 2023 Inspirationfeed. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. George Carlin, Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Pictures. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. A.src = t; The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. What do you say? The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Its a great feeling. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) George Carlin > Quotes (?) A.async = !0; Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. Enjoy! We just believed everything. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. When you die, it all stays here. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); They own everything. You should die first, get it out of the way. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. var cookie = cookies[i]; If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. It creates a hostile work environment. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. George Carlin. " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. Comedian I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; 5. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. 4994. It doesnt only represent the good things. gads.async = true; George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. The challenge is to find it. " George Carlin 15. }, Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Whether youre looking for inspirational or funny quotes by George Carlin or whether youre looking for his famous quotes politics and education, its all here. This is the best we can do folks. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. People are wonderful. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. var ue_furl = "fls-na.amazon.com"; I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. for(var i=0; iQuote by George Carlin - SComedy Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Because theres no money in that problem. // // page settings But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. In America, anyone can become president. " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. Maybe this time itll work. I've set my own rules to live by. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. " George Carlin Quotes The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Try spelling Evian backward. //]]> Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. (function() { Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. People are wonderful one at a time. Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They - Newsweek googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); Save the planet? The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. Use your fucking heads! We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? } ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. ' George Carlin, 56. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Yeah, I know, youre thinking. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. } g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) Theyre all in favour of the unborn. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. "https:" : "http:") + Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. //]]> And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Resources. [CDATA[ Thats the problem. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? I mean, life is tough. We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? We havent tried that for a while. This made him outstanding. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. 2. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. Really? googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. } [CDATA[ Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. [CDATA[ George Carlin Quotes - Facebook The planet is fine. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. Its so f***ing heroic. This is what we have to offer. I enjoy describing how things are, I have no interest in how they ought to be. And I certainly have no interest in fixing them. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. I hate groups of people. George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography

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george carlin quotes government