A strong argument is a solid one. You are using an out of date browser. 3. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. Be proud of who you are. However what messages might our children actually hear? Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. I was very irritated and angry. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. If you're a friend, it's friendly. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. "We will always remember. Yeah, this means a lot to me. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. I also have to let go of holding it against him, because I presume it was a well-meaning gaffeinstead of saying how happy he is for me, as hes never been belittling before. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! 1. Words have power and they can have a profound effect on us. Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. 11. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration and respect for you and that can be a powerful thing. You certainly will. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. I was irritated by that remark. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. 1. Then there's emotional attraction. . The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. Like I wasnt doing enough before? Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) Happy I did it, finally! the person who says that is actually talking about themselves, not about me, and by saying that is drawing the recognition away from me towards themselves. . Second, he must know you well. 16. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? The Next Giant Leap. They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. The Proud Boys . Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. "You make me so mad.". I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". Youll feel mad and resentful. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! First, he is probably higher status / higher power. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. Oh, thank you, friend. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. The phrase "Im proud of you" insinuates that the speaker (parent, teacher, co-worker, boss) has more experience, or power, or in some manner has the right to pronounce their opinion, on someone elses effort. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. 5. Hosted by Pressable. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. What if you really are proud of the person? Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. B Blue Apple Senior Member Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation. Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. . Congratulations to our dearest son. "I wish I had met you. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? Yea, Thank you is not the only response. One man said, "I am so proud of my partner when we are at receptions together; many men are around her wishing to make love to her . I did like here. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. . Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. So happy for us! Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. 14. Youre like my sister from another mother. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. Im excited, are you? At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". . We learn from every step we take. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. It is arrogant. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? Better Responses 2023. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. 11. She says "Good boy. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? For what? On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. But this will be seen as an overreaction. I am proud of them for being like this with one another. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. They seem to make him quite happy. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. I'm so proud of your painting!" If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. 1. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. Patricia Velasquez. 1 y. Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. but you do play a role in their success! They didn't have to do that. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. Thank you so much! Thats my life goal. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. 15. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. This expression is much more self-focused, i.e. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. It does not take it away from them. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude.